Another programming book, web programming and Java. Hey, I don't need java but I am not sure why I have it. Anyway, same case, I never touch them even though I bought them.
Sometimes I wonder, what was I thinking 3 years ago or perhaps all the past years. It's like all I was doing is meant to help me now... it's like I was preparing myself for today.
There is one more thing that is bothering me. And all these emoism, worries and pressures are due to this. And this is about freedom and bringing happiness to people. It's something that I don't even have and that makes it difficult for me to give it away.
I know whatever I am doing is boring and dull. I have been doing codings, self-learning, being at home, etc. It's not like I am not interested in music or something fun, it's just that I am preoccupied. I am working out a way to break free for tomorrow.
I got a breakdance book, not bought by me, but my uncle. He was a guitarist and love to rock when he's younger. Unlike me, I am none of the cool things that other have in their list.
One of the things I ever wanted to do is taking up vocal lesson and do some entertainment. But that is a bit too late. No, don't try to use positive words to tell me otherwise (eg. nothing is too late).
Another thing that I've always wanted to do is hang out and spend like machine gun. But I can't do that, I need to save up.
Then I want to meet Michael Jackson and go for his concert... haiz... looks like it's just a dream now. I bought his album 3 years ago. I've been listening to his songs ever since I was 5 or younger.
I want to buy myself a cake and share it with family. It's just that I love cakes. Then I also want to watch cartoons and eat the cake with my mind completely free from worries. That would be a great moments for me.
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