It's been such a long time since i updated. Today I went to my own blog and saw a cowardy tag. Aiya... I dun mind actually. It will be deleted anyway.

So anyway, just to share some experience on what i dreamt on Monday.
It was a scary dream...literally. I dunno why I suddenly got a girlfriend. It freak me out.
The environment are like dull and it's like at night. Something like what you see in the classic dracula movie. lol.
Oh ya, what worse is that...my gf was damn big la. u know what i mean.
Wahh...in the dream i was like smiling...but at the same time i was like, "what the heck?"

haha...that's the first chapter.

Then suddenly I was in a hotel room with 2 unidentified ppl. We're all like strangers but why r we in one room? I dunno. But it seems like i m having this disease where my right hand is rotting. Then there was a knock on the door. It was a suspicious old man with a bowl of greens? He is like offering it to me. I dunno why i took it when i sense something is really weird. haha. So when i took it and close the door, my hand rot even more and i could see maggots. I was like, "what the hell...?...ok, what should i do now?". I was not panic just thinking of whether i will survive or die. Then those 2 ppl tried to reverse the spell...*dream off*

Anyway, school life is like getting....boring. TODAY especially. First is my module...it's about computer technologies which i hv no interest at all...so i was like forcing myself to do smth that i dun wanna do. Secondly, its UT - multimedia programming. Lastly, wushu. Seriously, i dun hv mood to go wushu. But it turns out alright. The members make my day. :)

I really need to change my incomplete blogskin.. hais...need to find time.

Happy Mothers' Day!...

I am too hurt to do anything..

So of course I did not turn up for ninjado.

Made several websites and has been advertising it around. Sheesh.

I'm so darn bored. I just remembered...who did i tell to 'shuussss' at workplace yesterday when Shihan called me. I was too angry+sad that it drives me to do that. If i'm not wrong...I 'shuusss' to my manager. o.O oh oh... lol.

Anyway, yesterday instead of doing the normal front service, I was told to send orders. Yea, delivery. My manager told me to do so...and take cab. haha. I was kinda freak out..and I said to myself, "Is she serious about this?"
But I just did as i was told. Paiseh, I m not used to carry the big bag.

My china manager kept saying, "why r u like so bad mood nowadays..?"
I didn't mean to actually. I also dunno if I sounded mean or attitude.

...hais..

it hurts...

I didn't scold anyone...
I didn't force any one t0 believe me..*stop*
I did apologise...even though I don't think i am wrong...
I did want to settle it peacefully..but no respond
I am out of ninja-do.

It hurts...I strongly believe it is a misunderstanding.
But I wont be elaborating further. I don't want to talk abt it.
That's a lesson that I have learnt...dont talk abt anything..especially on this blog.
I am a loner who treats my blog as a friend to talk abt anything.
However, it seems like I didn't think abt the 'stakeholders'. I hv learnt a lot from my past experience, now I will hv a new lesson.

Being a ninja has always been my childhood dream. The yeoyatsu, splits, my flexibility, high rising kicks, etc...those did not come just like that. I have trained myself when I was young...I was preparing myself to be a ninja. I was very happy when I found ninjado. I am committed to ninjado more than wushu or even work. I am the one who ask Shihan for the ninja walk in frontier CC. I can still remember when I train my nanchaks...alone, seriously and quietly. I am so into ninja. Seriously, it hurts when those dreams is shattered just because of that accident and misunderstandings.

I don't want to talk abt it or someone or some ppl will think i am starting something. My emotions are running so fast that I don't know how to say it in words.
I know it's not the end of the world that I am out of this art. But it still hurts...

I know some ppl will say I cry over a spilt milk. Maybe that's true in a way.
I am feeling numb right now...I am trying to look happy and fine when I'm not. Why? Mother's Day is coming.

I feel like coming down to explain to Shihan. But I dunno what to say. Even if I am able to explain, i will back out from ninjado. It seems like thats not gonna happen.

He called me when I was working...I told him next week talk cos' I working, it's not the right time to talk abt it. But he say, "No need to come nxt week" and hung up. He said I scolded him on my blog...when I didn't. *stop*...i wont say more.

I dont feel like sparring anymore...there wont be any sparring for me anyway after all this.

I don't know if the ninjas r still friends with me or r they going to hate me.

This feeling will eventually fades off...I'm waiting for it to go..

Update

GOSH.. did this PP notes and sample box. I was like so sian la.
I am thinking of making it look like an ebook, but I was having problem with it.
Anyway, I might be distributing the notes in .pdf format...if i'm free la. Sorry for the delay.

Meanwhile, you can download the large files at the left navigation...