Was sick

Hello blog...

There's good an bad news.

Good news:
- I just recovered from fever
- I just find out that April 20th is school reopening day :D means got 1 month

Bad News:
- FYP project released and this means 1 month will be used for FYP =.="
- FYP project scope is on real animation...WAHAHAHA....i was asked to join for php and now got animation

Being playing with my gripper till finger blister. lol.

Anyway, gotta sleep. nite

Holiday is wasted

Man... my holidays are wasted.

Sometimes I feel like I can become insane. What do everyone do during holidays?
- Go out
- Hang out
- ENjoy themselves
- etc... (I don't know what youngsters do...SERIOUSLY)

What do I do?
- Work
- Work
- Learn
- Get fed up
- Feel miserable

Fine, I know my life isn't balance. That is why I think I wasted my youth.

What I have always feel like doing?
- Train and work out
- Hang out
- Socialise (something that I failed since young)
- Window shopping (just look around)
- Martial arts
- Be involved (school helper - this was what I WANTED in secondary school)
- Make parent happy

True, it's easy to say, "Hey let's go out"
But.... there's something I need to worry about. No one knows. Let's just say that I am a bit autistic (maybe?). I know that there's no use saying all these. Okay, let's look at the bright side... I still have 1 freaking more year to enjoy before I waste more life in ns.

Hey, so what's your problem?
- I just do not know how to be teenager

What do you mean?
- I am not doing what other teenagers are doing...and I do not even know what they do

Why didn't you ask them?
- I will look like an idiot. But I've heard what some of them did, I don't find it interesting or fun..

Then you're just a nerd
- Fuck you, if only you're someone else...

If you realise...I am just talking to myself. Asking myself question and answering them. It makes me feel much better but sooner or later, this post will be deleted.

Flash Backs

Hello blog. It's been such a long time since you hear my crapz.

I've been writing some articles and spin it around to generate 100 unique articles to promote some of my site. One of my site rank 1st page and get 100+ visitors per day.

I've not been doing many of the things that I want to do. I want to train wushu but have been MIA for like 5 months. Most probably my skills are getting bad or better to say CMI. It's not that I didn't want to but I just do not have the time. Serious speaking, I love to train in wushu...just to keep myself physically fit but well, I'm far from it.. too far indeed.

I miss my secondary school days. I realized that I have wasted my secondary school days. I suck at socialising so yea, those were my lonely days. I should have talk to others more and heck about studies since my daily revisions didn't pay off well.

Without realising, I am repeating the same mistake even now. I am wasting time to achieve financial freedom because I am feeling so financially insecure.

Whatever it is, I do it out of love. I know I sound like a sentimental guy, but what can I do? That's just me. I know I suck, I know I was pretending to be positive by saying all those affirmations or lies just to bring myself to sanity. I seriously do not know how to end my entry.

I think my playground is martial art... since I can't go back to ninjado, I am thinking of joining TKD. Just to spar for fun and see girls :D
I still love my ninjado friends though :-)