AHH!!

AHH!! ARGHH!!!
I dunno how to start my blog...i just feel sooo 3897828728947 as in @*#@@#&#^%#%#@#.

I think it's probably because I am very TIRED. Yesterday...go pray, then work, then celebrate HR. =.="

Today, i work morning, go ninja-do then go my uncle house. =.="

I am stress w/ myself...my abilities/capabilities... r decreasing. Hais...in a way I am mad abt smth that cant be undone, then is my injured knees.

Today spar...boring. Nothing happen...no injuries or anything. Tho my opponent manage to punch me in the stomach, it has no effect...but feel like a loser. As much as I want to kick his face....I tried to be lenient in such a way that I didnt go near him before kicking him. It's just to practise my moves. I was also quite distracted with my new acquired knowledge...."I want to go toilet" in mandarin.
But I wonder why Shihan stop the match when the best part is coming up...i was so low in my stance...it makes me feel so fearless and light.

I AM DAMN StupId!! LOUSY!! WEAK!!!....ARHG!! I dont seems to be able to b a martial artist..look at me...injured knees...kena punched and unable to block/dogde/counter the slow strike. That's it... i m nothing.

Really...the person who made me pissed off the most is MYSELF. useless...useless...