I feel like quiting life...

You know what, blog? I am a bit sad actually. I dont feel good living this way. I am just emo, i think. The image that always form in my mind is myself walking alone to my destination. I feel so dull. How long will this psychological hoax going to stuck in my head? Or is it really true?..i am alone.

I can feel myself fading every second. The feeling of being outcasted by the society makes me feel frustrated. I am just running towards my goal...feeling sad, frustrated and lonely along the way. Seriously, what would make me feel better is to be at the top of a building seeing the beautiful and colourful lights of the city. I don't mind being alone like that..but of course with my weapons, pen, paper and lappy. Besides, hardly anyone likes being at the rooftop right? (*A friend just told me: You are crazy.) So at least I have somewhere to go to...and a reason why I am always alone.

Back to work, my manager told me to do something about my hair. Hais..I do not know how to style it. And whenever I had my haircut, i feel damn irritated...I will look like a kid...and uglier than an ugly duckling. Tues - Thurs...full shift I chiongz. Why? To get good pay for the coming sept. And it is going to be a bit risky for me...cos' there's lots of new faces. Which means I will have to be a cashier. Tedious!! :(

Ninja-do, I am more serious in being ninja-like. But I can't help using feelings to trigger my attack. I mean, I will let my opponent make me angry before I can actually have the urge to beat them. I guess feelings is the strongest power. In real combat, you're just fighting to defend.
In relate to this, I have been chopping and punching the walls of my workplace whenever it's not busy. Got some blisters. I remembers the first time I tried to train my hand was in primary school...punched till bled. Interested in ninja ever since a child...haiss. I was so bloody stupid and really wasted my life back then. Damn it!

I feel that I am being useless to myself, therefore I wanna try to be useful to others. I still cant elaborate or understand that line that i just wrote. I wonder what I mean...